I, Baba.

It has been a difficult year. Not in any tragic or dramatic sense but simply a year that has seemed without meaningful purpose or direction. When I turned sixty, three years ago, I actively sought out new challenges and directions for my life. I love being ‘old’ enough to be what and who I want, leaving behind a less confident, overly self-conscious self and embracing my own worth, appreciating my experiences and relishing new adventures, and even though I have enjoyed taking on new and fulfilling ventures, this year has felt a little rudderless.

One of the greatest joys of life in recent years has been my promotion to grandparenthood. Our eldest granddaughter arrived shortly after I turned 60 and has been instrumental in keeping me ‘on my toes’ (because, quite frankly, it is difficult to get up off my knees when playing on the floor!) I love seeing her, and her fellow girl gang members (there are now three granddaughters) growing and experiencing the world around them.

She visited yesterday. While playing a new game I mentioned she was ‘a clever girl.’ Her response, which has become a bit of a mantra recently, was a very determined, ‘I, Isla’. I wondered how she would describe me so asked, ‘Who am I?’ Without looking up from her game she responded very matter-of-factly, ‘You, Baba.’ Baba is the name I chose to be known as, short for babushka. ‘But, I’m Jenny’ I prodded a little further to see her reaction. She shook her head a little, again without looking up from her game, ‘You, Baba’.

‘I am also Jenny’ I added again, to see if she could understand a little of the complexity of identity. Her response was forceful. Looking up, she put her little hand on my chest and looked me straight in the eye – sometimes, Babas need to be instructed very directly! ‘You. Baba.’ she stated very determinedly.

In those 2 words, from the heart of a 3-year-old, I suddenly rediscovered my purpose. Whatever the future holds and whatever new adventures await I shall meet them all head on as Baba! What fun I am going to have!