Cap’n Darcy Knockboots explains the origins of Piratesmas.
It was a dark and stormy night. Snow had been falling in flurries for days. The inhabitants of Port au Lethen were all snuggled up in bed, except for Emmeline Petticoat in the Egg and Dragon tavern (or was it the Dragon and Egg? I can never remember which comes first.) Emmeline kept her tavern open at all times for weary travellers although she didn’t expect any on such a dark and stormy night. Anyone mad enough to be out in this weather, she reckoned, was someone she would rather not have in her tavern. She was content on her own. The bar was tidy, the fire was roaring and she had a ready supply of rum.
As Emmeline stared out of the snow-covered window towards the empty harbour she witnessed a strange light in the dark and stormy sky. She was about to move closer to the window for a better view when, suddenly, the oak door of the tavern blew open. Momentarily startled, Emmeline stared at the dark, empty doorway with only the lantern swaying precariously outside. She tutted to herself then rushed forward to close the door before all heat and light left and wet snow entered. She shook her head at the wet floor and was about to go to the kitchen for a mop when a squawk from the end of the bar stopped her in her tracks. Turning slowly she was amazed to see a golden parrot, which appeared to be radiating light, perched on top of a bottle of rum; her best rum, she thought to herself.
Emmeline scowled as the bedraggled parrot raised its wings and flapped the snow from its feathers, droplets splashing the bar, bottles and glasses. Emmeline, ready to shout at the messy bird, stopped with her mouth open when the parrot turned towards her and in a raucous voice announced; ‘You have been chosen, Captain Petticoat. You are to teach the world about the importance of pirates. For too long they have been forgotten. You must bring piracy back into the lives of all the people.’
Emmeline stared at the glowing parrot in disbelief.
‘I am a tavern keeper, not a ship’s captain.’ stammered Emmeline
The parrot continued as if she hadn’t spoken.
‘Tonight, Captain Petticoat, a pirate ship shall arrive in Port au Lethen. It is called The Rambunctious Boy and carries all the cargo you will need to show the world the ways of the pirates. From this day on, The Rambunctious Boy shall be under your command and its cargo at your disposal.’
Emmeline continued to stare in disbelief at the parrot and as it spoke these words, her eyes moved towards the tavern window. Was that really a ship’s light approaching the harbour?
‘The crew of the Rambunctious Boy shall sail where you command and will be at the ready to spread the Word of the Pirate.’ continued the glowing parrot.
‘I-I am not a pirate captain. I don’t know how to do that’ stammered the bewildered Emmeline.
‘You
are
the chosen Pirate Captain.’ The parrot squawked assertively. ‘You must take The Rambunctious Boy and sail the Seven Seas to spread the Word of the Pirate. And the Word of the Pirate shall be Yo! Ho!’
Emmeline stared at the parrot. ‘I must be dreaming’ she muttered and rubbed her eyes with her closed fingers. On lowering her hands she discovered the tavern was empty once more. She slowly approached the bar and looked behind it. No parrot was to be seen. Only a single golden feather lay on the bar beside the bottle of best rum.
Outside the storm had abated. Shafts of moonlight broke through the dark clouds gently illuminating a pirate ship in a soft yellow light as they approached the harbour. Emmeline picked up the golden feather and placed it in an old, abandonned tri-corn hat she picked up from the hat stand beside the door. Placing it on her head she left the tavern and made her way down to the harbour to welcome the ship to Port au Lethen
‘Yo Ho!’ she said to no-one in particular. ‘I am a pirate captain and I shall sail the Seven Seas spreading the Word. Wherever The Rambunctious Boy docks, pirates shall gather on its decks. I shall provide food, drink and shenanigans to any who come to hear the Word. This event shall, heretofore, be called Piratesmas.’
And so we celebrate Piratesmas during the summer months. But let us not forget that equally important day in the Pirate’s calendar, The Festival of the Golden Parrot, when we remember the first gift of a feather to Captain Petticoat. As the daylight hours fade and the nights are dark and stormy, let pirates gather together to exchange a golden feather and share a tot o’ rum in remembrance of Emmeline Petticoat, the first Pirate Cap’n to begin the tradition of Piratesmas. Yo Ho!
Significantly Different 